No one ever asked

No one ever asked
I remember when I first got my water gun,
I definitely showed it off to my friends,
Squirting all my friends; trying to run away from the flicks of water.

I jumped into the video recorder and pressed fast forward into my life.
That beautiful moment didn’t last forever,
My water pistol that I adored became the object I hated,
As soon as it became the 50 caliber M2 machine gun,
Exterminating the faithful, companion, my love.
Whose last message to me was pain, terror, fear, affliction, trouble.
Through their last tears I saw the remnants of what they had become. Ashes…
Leaving me standing in a mystic ball, where everything changes in a speck second

Time was made by humans; unfortunately I was counting their movements,
Movements turned me into a carnivore, craving the bites of the sinners, who I smelt near.
Its enduring taste cleanses my soul; with the outburst of its red riches giving me breathe.
The awaiting of explosions excite me but the firing of bullets have left me shadowed with the darkness of the evil doers,
Rhythmic sound activates the reality, broadcasting that the war is not over,
Visions of me seeing people smiling, exalting God for another day,
Has been ripped off by a machete,
The red sea surrounds me, living up to its name,

Fooled by their trap,
Their touches lead to my skin sanding away,
An eruption happened, burning into my eyes, scaring me,
This beast IS NOT having his satisfaction by chewing on me a deer,
Scavenging like a hungry Lion I ripped out what he had used to insert in my sister before he pulled the trigger,
I pulled the leftovers of what I could, while trying to escape from my prey

Only to be staggering to the lake, where I saw this contaminated person,
Who was contaminated with the thought of people who knew nothing?
With someone who lay next to her mother only to finally release that she wouldn’t wake up again.
It seemed like the Lord even ran away at the horror of the war,
Just leaving a lugubrious soul,
Lugubrious soul who with every spirit in its soul screams help
“HELP”, the suppose direct help line, reads as the direct fail line
The air itself dismisses at my achievement,
Leaving me scattered to die and wait while the vultures prepare to eat me
The background meaning of A, B, C, – A=Aroused, B=Baked, C= Coated.
The men slept with them, they watched them burn, they hid the remains
No one ever asked me about my story

By P

Moving Forward

Yo dad,
Just wanted to see how are you doing

How does the world look from up there?
I have been wondering why you have stopped connecting to me,
what happened to our signal?

I thought you loved me, but its hard to connect you, it seemed as if we had a break up.
I am searching for the satisfaction of my heart as it is yielding for something/someone but I can put my foot down on what.

I really do want to move forward but it feels as if I can’t move any further.
Please help me to move forward, like you moved the people of Israel into the land filled with milk and honey.
Forward
Love
…

Dear precious
I love you, never left you and I won’t let go of you.

I have been here always trying to get your attention but you acted as if I wasn’t there.
When ever you fell on your knees, felt my presence, you could have chosen to follow me then but it was just your words that poured out of mouth like vomit, dirt that you could’t contain any more within. Your actions didn’t play with your words. Your words didn’t dance out of your mouth rejoicing me, your words was not glorifying me daily.

You forgot where you came from -SAND
But I brushed you, crafted you, painted you, you became the apple of my eye.
“Others were given in exchange for you.. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honoured, and I love you. “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will gather you and your children from east and west.

But now you have decided to follow me,
hold my hand and,
let’s move forward,
forward
we are moving forward

Love your marker , God

By P

The Costume

I thought I would never wear that costume,
Now I am the costume
I hide behind it,
my tinted window
I can see you, but you can’t see me. The costume is me.
The smiles are dreams, I pray for it to be a reality
My story is too enveloped, written down so dearly on a precious paper, so delicate….
Fragile.
The touch of it’s edge grates my soul.
You curse me, judge me, laugh at me because I am the costume.
Never once knowing how I got here. Who I am, and where I come from.
Not even reading my lips well enough to understand when I say “I am fine” really meaning help help.
Don’t play one more string of that violin that the waves of the piece plays another disfigured note, reminding me of me, how long will I play hide and seek.
I don’t even know who I’m hiding from.

Why do you smile a lot ? What makes you happy? You are so annoying man, Move man.
Have they ever tried once to remove the costume to see how you look. Do they know your pain? Are they you?
The costume fools them, so perfect in sight, blossoming during the day and the night. Everyone wants to be it.
You don’t know my wounds yet you;yet you mock me like a phraisee because you think you are God.
My knees are cracking, having the imprint of the platform. So I apply my bronzer to the knee caps, so no one knows how long I have been waiting for an answer
Foundation for the desert skin, to seal back the tears, to draw back the thunder to bring out the spark.
After a while the make up wears thin, deep down I feel your spirit within..me, the costume isn’t who I want to be
By P and M

The End

‘The End’

I remembered him right … at the end, the bottom. When I was almost gone.
Rewind back to the diamond life. Rewind back those years, he was yielding for me to lift my hands, tears dripping with the words imprinted “I LOVE YOU”!
Why didn’t I roll in the likeness of you. For I am a new creation when I find you…
But I left you.
My mouth spoke against those who condemned you but I proved I was the biggest lair.
I questioned before I went out if I should wear my gown of faith but decided to wear my thongs and bras marinated all over the world.
My faith become like my toys:
when I was younger, I adore them, made sure they were there with me at night, everywhere I go they must be there. But as I grew they became childish games. It was seemed as dull and useless so I stopped playing with them.
Everyone around me was getting what they wanted. But I got nothing, so my faith diluted. I thought you loved me, I thought we had something special.
Thought my faith was beyond wonderful. Thought I did everything right, at least I thought so.
So I searched for faith elsewhere,
My so called ‘lover’
Trusted it so much, thought it was the devil who caused my hindrance of blessing.
But I caused my death.
I saw the world as my baby, but the funny thing is that the world saw me as their criminal, they caged me, blocking the light, so I can only see pitch black.
I was Cain,
Jealousy aroused in my heart, so I became the devil, but instead of sheltering under God’s arm, I sheltered into my grave.
I forgot that God was my first love. I let my jealousy rise so far that I forgot you were my refuge so I became like google, eager for so much knowledge.
That I forgot you were my redeemer.
BY P

I am tired of saying I am hurt,
I just want someone to carry my pain.
I am not saying I want someone to contract HIV.
That’s how my pain feels like poison,
eating in my inside.
No one can see any symptoms.
But I know it’s the death to me.

Knowing that the same hands he will use to applaud her with, will be the same hands that will never hold again

Jasmine Mans “Dear Ex-Lover” (The Strivers Row)

Knowing that the same hands he will use to applaud her with, will be the same hands that will never hold again

Jasmine Mans “Dear Ex-Lover” (The Strivers Row)

I feel like I am stuck in your narrow hole.
Trying to scape the sides of the walls only to fall back into my puddle of unbearable memory.
You vacuum me in, so deeply into what I knew was wrong but I threw it up.
But you took the mop to wipe the dirt as you were frightened of anyone knowing. As to clean away the trail, making people think it was a casual spilling of soup.
But forgetting the truth was implanted in me.
You ensure me society is messed up and everyone is telling me bullshit.
Whereas you are part of the fucked up society.
Did you know I am still stuck in your waste?
You question me/poke your fat guns that pushed unwilling into me.
Asking why have you put on weight? Why are you fat?
Your eyes are pitch black, you don’t know its the baggage I have gained over the years from the memory. So I am broken-like a broken car at the side of the hard shoulder the motorway.
Sticking my hands put for a ride. Hitch-hiking, that’s what you call it right?
Because the last time you did it, you were so eager to ride me, ripping away my dignity.
So I am awaiting for any car to move me forward. I can’t move because I am tied down with the memory you have impelled on my heart.
Wake up to a fresh day, fresh breathe, fresh everything, only to be left with musty memory.
Every step into a new relationship is a fallen plate smashed into pieces, never being healed again.
UNTHINKABLE.
Try so hard to love another person but unwilling I was in love with you. I thought we were one, I thought I was pleasing us so, I could be loved so dearly.
What a fool I was, thinking so stupidly.
Or was it your foolishness that rubbed off you and stained me because I was there to long.

By P

Idiot

I feel like I am stuck in your narrow hole.
Trying to scape the sides of the walls only to fall back into my puddle of unbearable memory.
You vacuum me in, so deeply into what I knew was wrong but I threw it up.
But you took the mop to wipe the dirt as you were frightened of anyone knowing. As to clean away the trail, making people think it was a casual spilling of soup.
But forgetting the truth was implanted in me.
You ensure me society is messed up and everyone is telling me bullshit.
Whereas you are part of the fucked up society.
Did you know I am still stuck in your waste?
You question me/poke your fat guns that pushed unwilling into me.
Asking why have you put on weight? Why are you fat?
Your eyes are pitch black, you don’t know its the baggage I have gained over the years from the memory. So I am broken-like a broken car at the side of the hard shoulder the motorway.
Sticking my hands put for a ride. Hitch-hiking, that’s what you call it right?
Because the last time you did it, you were so eager to ride me, ripping away my dignity.
So I am awaiting for any car to move me forward. I can’t move because I am tied down with the memory you have impelled on my heart.
Wake up to a fresh day, fresh breathe, fresh everything, only to be left with musty memory.
Every step into a new relationship is a fallen plate smashed into pieces, never being healed again.
UNTHINKABLE.
Try so hard to love another person but unwilling I was in love with you. I thought we were one, I thought I was pleasing us so, I could be loved so dearly.
What a fool I was, thinking so stupidly.
Or was it your foolishness that rubbed off you and stained me because I was there to long.

By P

Love you is like a lullaby,
Can put you to sleep,
Something that your want to hear but can’t wake you up